Bio - Mike Ross

Michael "Betsy" Gregory Ross, master of the GPS and Neil Armstrong lookalike, consumes his body weight in Red Bull every year. In his youth, he rescued swimmers on the Huntington Beach coastline by tossing surplus Boy Scout merit badges at them as flotation devices. In college, he survived three years of being sexiled by the notorious hook-up artist, "Head Hapa" Brian "Yoshi" Laing. In his spare time, he single-handedly created the computer education program for the island nation of Bermuda without ever leaving the beach. He wrestles alligators with his bare hands, and he maintains his own solar panels to power his wirelessly automated house, which can sing the chorus to "Pirates of Penzance" complete with a Cutco knife-throwing finale at the press of a button.

After rigorous Navy training on how to look cool in a flight suit, he reported to "cow town" Hanford, CA to fly "Super (Compensating for Something) Hornet" jets. Recent convert to ChoJoCroLoDoSos*, he currently has only one wife, the lovely and talented Alli(son) James Ross, who strangely does not appear in her family's Christmas card, and whose sister definitely never had a nose ring.

* Stanford-ese for "Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints" aka Mormonism